every radio medication ad ever:

This medication will make you stop pooping, but it will also probably make you want to kill yourself.

memorizing poems for literature class: 😒

memorizing war songs:

anyway Auf der Heide blüht ein kleines Blümelein und das heißt: Erika

i wish i was moistcritikal

i jokingly started playing games as lúcio and now im unironically maining him and am actually kinda good at it

shows you my awesome legendary mercy skin

cry about it

i don’t care how many damn people ship draculaura with clawdeen, draculaura and clawd are the superior couple imo. and before you call me homophobic, i’m gay.

Cheers, love! The cavalry's here!

Do you even know who you're talkin' to?

3 2 1 GO!

It's about time I battle you!

Ladies first!

After you!

Don't make me take this bat to you!

Someone's got an attitude!

Check the time, you're outta sync!

I'm outta sight in just a blink!

Ever get the feeling of Deja Vu?

Whenever I win, then I do!

What's your name, babyface?

Next to me, you're lazy babe!

Look, I'm flyin'!

I don't care!

How's the weather way down there?

Take a swing, bet you'll whiff!

Tell me, do you even lift?

Who cuts your hair? Are they blind?

Here you go!

THAT'S NOT MINE!

I should've told you, I drop bombs!

You're not the kinda gal to bring home to mom!

I'm from the Overwatch but I've got no Mercy!

At least my butt didn't start a controversy!

You'll never get your face on a baseball card!

I'm battin' a thousand, I'll knock you outta the park!

I hate to say it mate, you won't make it to first base!

Worst case scenario, I finish in first place!

A-ha, let's try that again

SECOND ROUND

3 2 1 GO!

I'm a pretty big deal!

Don't let it get to your head!

Hun, if you were where I'm from, you'd already be dead!

BONK!

I'm gonna knock your lights out!

Just try not to strike out!

Eat my dust!

Pipe down! I think you need a timeout!

My shotgun will DROP you!

You brought one, I brought two!

Tracer put the toys down!

At least I'm not a Boy, Scout!

I can run for hours, love!

Not without your power-ups!

I'm the fastest in the world!

But you hit like a girl!

Tracer, The Scout, let's work it out!

The biggest showdown's about to go down

So if you didn't know, go tell the whole town!

Tracer, The Scout, they'll burn it down!

I'm on the payload!

I'll push the cart!

Beatin' you can't be that hard!

Be kind, Rewind!

You got too much free time!

Grass grows, birds fly, and I'm the guy you get hurt by!

You can't do me any harm, not with those skinny arms!

Knucklehead, hit the bricks, I'm not into British chicks!

No more rubbish, clock is tickin'!

I'm not here for babysittin'!

Overwatch got shut down!

You're unemployed, what now?

Still I've got the better view, I've seen more than Red and Blu!

The world could use more heroes, and less of you!

I'll come at you like a force of nature!

I travel through time cause' I love the danger!

You're gettin' freakin' dominated!

I fight for the future, and you're outdated!

I'll carry my team, you'll see me score a lot!

But can you think outside of The Orange Box?

I've got a face that you put on the cover!

I'll show you why they call me Slugger!

I'm the prescription for TF2 addiction!

With infinite ammunition, there's no competition!

Consider this an audition

But you're never gonna get the position!

I'll cover distance quicker than you take to make decisions!

Your best friend's a big chimp?

That's Winston, you dimwit!

We'll run you out of business!

But I'm not even winded!

Kids, if you're conflicted

Then pick me, I'm wicked!

Time that I end this race!

I hope you don't mind second place!

Tracer, The Scout, let's work it out!

The biggest showdown's about to go down

So if you didn't know, go tell the whole town!

Tracer, The Scout, they'll burn it down!

I'm on the payload!

I'll push the cart!

Beatin' you can't be that hard!

hey do any of you remember that one JCS video about the dude pretending to be crazy that just randomly showed up in everyone’s recommended on YouTube

im rewatching it now i still like watching it every once in a while, it’s interesting

also the demon has good music taste cuz ever since that video i’ve been listening to And One’s music lmfao

*psychology nerd noises*

is it weird that i take refuge in toxic masculinity?

like i’m trans and sometimes i’ll just jokingly say overly masculine things just to make myself feel like i produce testosterone and it makes me feel good

like

toxic masculinity is a comfort for me

im a dudebro but ironically

i still have

ROCKS

in my goddamn

POCKETS